Last Day of 2012

With the curtains of the year 2012 draw closer

many things seems remained undone

perhaps the exam blues still haven't disappeared

or maybe too much pressure

knowing that part of your future have been written

so it's up to you how do you implement the talk

I do admit that the Diva-D (alter ego in me)

have taken control of me several times

and when I reflect upon my 2012

I think some of the things I've been messed up 

and not sure what the future holds for me

I was born this way 

not to please everyone in this world

like a Diva

some may love you

some just hate you

so who cares right

it's not personal

2012 is another roller coaster ride for me

cause with all the happy and unhappy things revolved around me

and it just keep on spinning

until it is heard no more

yet the resolutions I made during the first minute of 2012

may be turned into nothing at the end of it

maybe it's time to change my resolution

into a more practical way

I always believe in this quotes

"You choose how you show up in this life.

You choose how you express yourself and who you will become"

so

the Diva-D in me always speaks louder 

that's the way I can protect myself

from this wicked and corrupted reality

how about review some of the moments in 2012

well...  let the picture do all the talks~~

and overall 

I think I've developed some great model skills (ahem~~)

I mean developed another new level of confident

the courage to take chances

and the skills to survive in this mean world

and not forgetting

my 2012 top 10 hits

(including those infamous songs =P)

10. Call Me Maybe - Carly Ray Jepsen

everyone is singing this 26-year-old's song

Quizas me llames

the spanish version

damn catchy

it took a while to forget this summer hits

9. Starships - Nicki Minaj

Here comes my best female rapper in the world

with her news of threatening Mariah Carey 

but she just keep coming

she's one of the most collaborated singer

and like starships

she is meant to fly

8. When I was Your Man - Bruno Mars

new song that accompany me toward the end of 2012

yet I find the lyrics kinda melancholy

as I said

it reflects my past

7. Marry The Night - Lady Gaga

I still remember singing this song in UTAR

that was like almost a year ago

the climax that she she made

and the broken down part at the end of the song

that's phenomenal

6. It's Time - Imagine Dragon

OK, congratulations to Glee Cast

especially Blaine

introducing this song into my world

and with the weird Red Solo Cup Dance

in front of the students and Kurt

that's made a memorable moments

5. Here's To Us - Halestorm

This is one of the infamous song here in Malaysia

I bet no one have heard this song

unless you are an avid fan of Glee

the song has some vulgar contents

which is not really family friendly

but it sings about us

who have come so far

yet knowing long journey to carry on

the perseverance in the heart 

is the key to move on

4. 50 Ways to Say Goodbye - Train

It's a great song

I know saying goodbye is hard

but this song make it hilarious to say goodbye

especially the significant one

saying goodbye is like tearing heart apart

yet it's a part of our life

need to shake them off

3. Let's Have A Kiki - Scissors Sister

so what kind of song is this

in my top 10 list of 2012

it's a great song

like Good Time

but it's a party song

it should be celebrated in this manner

dance and laugh and sing

part of my plan for New Year Party ^^

2. Aiming For You - Sophie Sumner

this is Sophie

who won America's Next Top Model Cycle 18

she's demure, sweet and pink

she is a super duper top model

one of the most deserved to walk away the title

and the song has some Tyra-ish vocabs

so make sure you know tune in ANTM

so you know what's the song about

1. Blow Me (One Last Kiss) - P!nk

who has the rocker attitude

yet always sings about self embrace

and inspire others

yup!! It's P!nk

her incredible vocal

and always be my top list whenever I open my playlist

Throughout this year

I became more self-aware

yes I admit became a little more self-centered

but the truth is

I know what to do 

I want the world changed according to me

not the other around

so hopefully 2013 brings more surprise to me

and my fabulous alter ego as well ^^

~happy new year ~

Después de Doomsday

It seems like we have 23/12/2012

which means there are no doomsday 

which also means we have final exam to carry on

which means everything still go on

and of course which means we are still alive

and it supposed to be joyous right?

perhaps the stress and some sleepless night in the camp

cause my whole concentration to lose up a bit

anyway

I still have the mood for blogging

after flipping through some lecture notes

it's kinda heavy

but knowing that I have tougher subjects coming up

so I assume everything should be easy to handle

just remember to handle with care

and not failing to the edge

many things struck my mind like tidal waves

unstoppable rain that pour upon me

perhaps it's Christmas's eve

or maybe knowing that we will end this year with final exam

so it doesn't appear to be festive or happy

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So how's the playlist for this week

it should start with an emotional song by

Bruno Mars

When I Was Your Man

in my opinion it's a sequel after It Will Rain

worth listening

it should bring about some past moments

and let bygones be bygones

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then here come's the Cannonball

by Little Mix

the Winner of The X Factor UK Series 8

It's not hart to fall

when you float like a cannonball

it's their winning song

and it's so inspiring and motivating

it's not a very popular song over here in Malaysia

who watch The X Factor UK anyway??

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Then Ellie Goulding

with Anything Could Happen

it opens up some possibilities

while we are venturing into this world

anything could happen right

praise her vocal

the songs is an alternative kind of music

catchy and up-tempo

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so I hope you guys enjoy these songs

Merry Christmas

and a Happy New Year~~    

Declaration Like A Boss

Everything has put up a brand new wallpaper

welcoming some bold rangers

and some ingenious community as well

together living in a world

consuming the same resources

yet separated by a thick fog of ideology

which successfully dumbfounded certain people

with a little chance of survival rate

in this epic reality

It's really a real reality

partial of the ocean of memory has been evaporated 

what is left is the several scars

the scars which inflicted through several weapons

perhaps the arrow of the ignorance

or the burning spear of the foolish

which has pierced through the innocent heart

Hoping for white doves to set off

yet the pains and tears that struggled through is 

screaming

screeching 

in altar of darkness of the heart

waiting for the shining light

to light up the reality

at the same time intensifying the sorrow and hatred

when the night gets darker

and the pain gets worse

who do I turn to

if given the low ripeness of the thoughts

can interfering the decision I made

it heralds the wipeout of the entire entity of mine

and the demolition of the gravitas of mine

Shine bright like a diamond~

why not turn the table

and question yourself with the exact preposterous interrogation

not trying to incriminate anyone

and not trying to flaunt or swank

just wanted yourself to mirror own reflection

nothing much

The reality~

you can express yourself in any forms

include brutal beast of insanity

or the fairy of injustice

or the low visibility bug in the forest

but it won't changed me

myself and I

cause I withhold some noxious modes of life

I prefer my own life philosophy

and that's what integrate who I am

Like A Boss ^^

Let's Have A Kiki~

Once again

Glee has done a tremendously great job

this time

not cover a song

but introducing a new song

Let's Have A Kiki

by Scissor Sisters

FYI

this group made some cultural impact

especially towards LGBTQ community

anyway

let's focus on the song

so what's a kiki?

A kiki is a party, for calming all your nerves
We're spilling tea, and dishing just desserts one may deserve

that's the given explanation

or you can say kiki is "Good Time"

Let's have a kiki, I wanna have a kiki
Lock the doors, tight

Let's have a kiki, motherfucker
I'm gonna let you have it

Let's have a kiki

I wanna have a kiki
Dive, turn, work

Let's have a kiki
We're gonna serve, and work and turn
And h-h-honey

seriously

i can replay this song all day long

it's like USA version kind of  Gangnam Style

with a unique dance move

and of course catchy phrase

minus a fat guy

but with bunch of wholesome eyecandies.. XD

as the final exam just around the corner

with the fear of the end of the world

it makes me kinda wondering

what is the right thing to do

since thinking too much is a waste of time

plus those annoying people keep disturbing me

Oooh, she's been a bitch tonight.

And by bitch I mean this rain; 

and some issues remained uncertain

so i just wanna have some fun

So let's have a kiki !!!

Mature Treatments

I guess this is not the first time 

writing about 

mature treatment

I'm not saying that I am mature or something

but when comes to some incidents

or dilemma

or even solving problems

you still need a little bit maturity 

it's not just crucial

of course 

it is damn freaking essential

to keep hanging on 

in this cruel and ruthless reality

sometimes I don't understand why people 

need to seal themselves in a box within

never try to reach out to outside

always stay inside their "little" world

just don't understand why they need to torture themselves 

if they are mature enough

they will realize the importance of building connection 

as well as networking

someday these steps of reaching out

may results in something fruitful

and again

haters going to hate this

but it's the truth

try to think a little bit more

you may find the glimpse of light from the world outside

I'm not biased

but when things got worse

I would most probably sided with people with 

more matured

you can't be so selfish

so possessive

so "small gas"

you need to think big

not just grabbing someone so tight

that you were afraid they will fly

if you were a little bit matured

I guess letting go is the best option

cause everyone is free to make their choices

Your time is limited,

so don't waste it living in someone else's life

and don't try to interrupt other's life

you have exactly no right to do that

cause you are not the Creator 

so it comes back to how you treat the things maturely

Devastated

Devastated

simply saying this word

could be the only one word

to describe what I've been

After the downs and blues from previous test

I thought it will be another good turning point

to keep on chasing pavements

but with all the unexpected things coming in

adding insults to injuries

the things get more complicated

and guess what

the best part is

I don't even realized it

until when I started reviewing back the whole plot

Oh God

What have I done?

I just started realize that

life really has one initial point

and the things go on with the choices we made

including those bad paths we've taken

it kinda building myself  up

I always say to myself that

I'm the one and only

I am who I am

no one can bring me down

or try to change me

and it should be the way of life

you don't go around and say I'm out of my mind

just because I don't go according to you

This is myself

This is me

don't ever try to take it away from me

if that makes me a bitchy person

(Well, who cares?)

cause this is my life

this is my choice

I guess haters going to hate me

and I don't live under you

so why do I care so much

maybe the compassion towards you

please don't waste your precious time

cause you know

you're not worth it to me

and to the people who I still love and care about

don't worry

I'm still me

just the alter ego of me

still controlling me

trying to CATCH MY BREATH

anyway

I'm funked to the deepest hole again

and devastated

and no worry

it just temporary

as usual

just the alter ego of me

 Cheers anyway ^^

Mid-Sem Break

It's mid-semester break 

still stuck in college

doing nothing

but study and online

(the wi-fi super duper fast )

thinking of going back to Klang soon

then got a call from my mom

saying that my room is a temporary storeroom

so that's why still stuck here in UPM

When the mid-sem break ends

then begins another waves of nightmare

the Test II and assignments submission periods

so many things have been postponed

wait a minute !!!

there's another upcoming college events next week

it makes things even worse 

so many things to be done by next week

it's going to be another week of deadly hell

talking about the camp we organised for 

our college Chinese juniors

it's fun

and the same it's tiring

though the preparation itself started last semester

but at the end of the day

everyone

even the exhausted committee

put on a big smile on their face

it's done

finally we can put an end

and focus on the next thing

looking back at the test I result

it is rather disappointing

cause most of the papers are not up to my expectations

kinda sad

and motivates me to do better

cause I guess I have nothing to lose anymore

a few points to say bye bye to my scholarship

Hell to the N-O no

need to work hard

add more oil

knowing that it is harder than before

and still hardly to find mood to study harder

guess this is the only way to motivate myself

Raining~~

It has been raining 

for a few days

kinda good thing

as it is the perfect weather to get some beauty sleep

but it doesn't happen to us

(probably me)

cause I'm indulging myself in the insane busyness

you'll probably see this over and over again in my blog

but the truth is

I'm always busy

even I'm in the exam season

or even in a relationship

or even I'm sick

or maybe stuck in the traffic jam

Hey, do I need to take a break?

Yes, I do

but looking back on the route that I've taken

it's never a relax or free moment 

that lasted a month

Sometimes I do questioning myself 

"Am I born to work like cow??"

Likewise I always envy people who are carefree

maybe they are busy with personal life

or perhaps more exam-oriented

but when I imagine myself in their shoes

I'm scared and worried

cause it doesn't seems to fit me

I guess I need to build up myself through this hardship

unstoppable hardship

I'm writing this

while looking at the rain pour

it reminded me some of the songs like

Singing in the Rain 

mashing up with

 Umbrella

It's a joyful song with nice melody

imagine dancing with the people you really love

with those sacred promises

and the sweet chat 

and the bubbles of happiness floating in the air

and suddenly

 Let It Rain

what a heartbreak song

it started spinning in my head

but got over kinda quick

cause it's not in my current feelings' playlist

but is a great song though

and here comes the song

Unwritten

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

a song that embraces freedom

just me, myself and I

great song that relaxes myself

of course there are more songs that are keep playing in my head

and I keep hitting repe-pe-pe-pe-pe-peat~~

Think to much~~

Sometimes

I find myself really think too much

a lot

not really sure what am I thinking

or just because I'm worrying too much

or maybe I feel insecure

or maybe I like to imagine and fantasize

really no idea about it

Lately

I've made some bold moves

I guess these moves may create uproars

or perhaps controversies

I'm kinda worry of 

becoming the topic of people's conversation

although I do enjoy the spotlight

but sometimes enough is enough

you can't really ask for more 

(even Pepsi is not my favorite drink)

so random~~

anyway

people always said you have to walk the talk

and not just do all the talking

cause everyone are able to do the same

the only difference is 

the courage to make the first step

I guess being emotional occasionally is a good thing

in fact, it's a great idea

cause you get to lock yourself from the world

no contact

just you and the space given

it will be ample for you to think about

reflect upon

and decide your next moves

eventually

I will choose the happy way

which I think always the best option that I ever have

is great that sometimes there is someone to share everything

including your burden, laughter and sorrow

but sometimes

getting so emotional sometimes 

may spice up a little bit

just not overdoing it

and it will let you to see the world

 in a very unique point of view

and that's why

I think a lot

cause you can predict whatsoever 

although things don't go according to your view

but at least you've imagined it

and you can feel it 

so close, yet so far

and it's not deja vu

it is just thinking a lot

not nonsense 

but curiosity plus a little bit of creativity

and some critical thinking

that's what paint a good imagination 

Try~

Guess this is it!!!

the second official single

from P!nk

Try 

there are so many great songs in her latest album

THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE 

though P!nk  has been around in the music industry for ages

yet she is still producing great music

and her unique, rocker's voice

is what I really love about her

this also kinda reflects our life

when we wanna do something

we need to flaunt it

make it great

as we know sometimes it's not about doing our best level

is about doing better

at the mean time

we need to have an element called 

perseverance

and 

tenacity  

to keep on holding on to our believes

our primary goals

of course we will face some changes

perhaps a drastic one

but a thing that is kept constant

is our passion and our heart

we just don't give a damn

no matter how hard it is

we need to carry on

so before we initiates any new moves

we need to think

foresee the future

picture the possibilities

we can't always be imagining a step at a time

taking one step at a time is true

but we just need to see more than the next step

Where there is desire

There is gonna be a flame

Where there is a flame

Someone's bound to get burned

But just because it burns

Doesn't mean you're gonna die

You've gotta get up and try try try 

talking about the music video

it is such a passion dance 

and violence as well (XD)

you will go "WTF?!!!"

and with the tossing around P!nk to the ground

or against the wall

it's a disaster and painful to watch

yet this song is kinda meaningful

not just apply in love and relationship

also it kinda inspire lives

You've gotta get up and try try try

don't ever give up

not just me 

but people around me

sometimes you'll hate what have you done if you look back

and you'll start regret and never move on