Madness

Where do I begin with all this madness

It's been a crazy period

I might be ended up suffocating though

It's so difficult to accept someone

knowing that the possibilities are limited

but according to my heart

well... it didn't say anything

so I guess I'm on my own now

It's also difficult to shut someone down

knowing that the B is creating nonsense uproars

probably due to PMS

well... I don't really care

I can take my high road

and leave the building

It's gonna be super cool if there's wind blowing while I'm leaving

However 

Thanks god music is my remedy

my ultimate antidote to the intoxicated world

Up

by Olly Murs feat. Demi Lovato

sweet lovely song

a great duet too

Uptown Funk

by Mark Ronson and Bruno Marks

the song really brings back the funk

this song is super cool with MJ or Prince's vibe

Bed of Lies

by Nicki Minaj feat. Skylar Grey

it shows the vulnerable side of Nicki Minaj

Her rap verse is damn emotional

Go Queen Nicki

and Skylar Grey with mesmerizing voice 

probably that's a detour from all the madness XD

Starlight

Sighing angel

Dancing alone in the mirror

The hopeless night

Calling me out to be alright

But tonight I need you more than ever

Maybe you could stick around longer

And I'm here to stay 

No matter what they say

I wish you will do the same

With the light in my hand

Starlight on my head

Won't let the lights fade away

All the time

Hiding myself in the corner

It's just a dream

Maybe you could stick around longer

The night will turn away

The daylight take them away

And I'll be chasing your shadows again

Try to breathe without you

Face the world missing you

And the starlight guide me through

this hell

Yes/No

Towards the end of the year

probably the time is limited

depends on how you judge it

the time is moving super fast !!!

Do I need to say "yes" to the fallen one

or do I say "no" to acquire the next ticket

It could be the hardest decision to be made

by taking in consideration on how I handle the bygone chances

probably does it worth waiting for?

or does it worth taking chances on?

God may lay the plan

but I have absolutely no idea on the execution part

eventually

I need to make up my mind

I need to choose a path

either is right or wrong

I couldn't stand there and being selfish

it is the most selfish thing to do

but it might results in calamities if handle badly

so should I stay selfish

standing between the border line of a "Yes" and a "No"

 or 

I have no idea

4 weeks before my final exam

the workload is extremely overwhelming

and 

my life never get easier than this

probably I need to spend the time to reflect on the dilemma

before I'm dragging the whole thing down

Hiatus

A month long of hiatus

it seems like everything started to came into a mess

the life hasn't been so busy before

how do you find the right time for "me" time

that's gonna test you on your personal management

perhaps some of the things started to make sense

in which how it turned out this way 

the rest still in the TBA state

waiting for me to clarify the right path

The complexity that I'm facing right now

probably will drive me crazy

but the empty pages in my life are still yet to be filled

there rise the motivation that keeps holding on

We can't predict the future

thus making the best out of everyday is the satisfaction

or in turns the gratitude for living another day

still indulging in my own busyness

is my life

and that's the reason why no one could ever imagine how hard it could be

with the stress level that is on and off

however

I still have my own life

Yes, I do get a life out of the mess that I've created

so when it comes some other stuff

(i.e. relationship thingy)

let's just put it this way

if it does happen, it happens

and vice versa

not to sound like a mad man

but the truth is

you have some other priority in life

thus the hiatus could be explained in this manner

the blog posts are meant to be as an expression 

probably written down for the future 'me' to read and terrorised 

and that's all

If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for

All About that Relationship

We know we should never ever trust the b

and being one myself

I’m constantly bombarded with various sticks and stones

but what the hell

who really care actually

we know the existence of superior

even if we do not acknowledge it

When it comes to relationship

well all about that relationship

There are so many uncertainties

that lies beyond the dark side of the fence

and we know how hard to get it blossom

with the right person

at the right time

Can this dream actually comes true

and what I have learnt from the past

(cause history never failed to repeat itself)

Time is the best answer for almost everything in this world

That might create another story of my life

and seriously

I’m very looking forward to

But do I have any holdback

Yes, of course!

The fear

The commitment issue

Perhaps holding onto certain stuffs that keep you busy

is a good thing

and I might just keep on moving on

nothing holding me back

till that person appear right there in front of me someday

and it's all about that relationship

The Arrival

We all know that we'll return to the Earth 

after we have gasped the last breath of the air

while waiting for that arrival

we made several choices

options

decisions

including going after the wonderful things

equipping ourselves like a Christmas tree

overloading oneself with countless problems

subjecting the mind to endless pressure

Having the near-death experience

optimism and positivism are the keys for a better life

Does it really matter after all

flying colours

awesome career

greater wealth

advanced tech 

while waiting for the arrival

Guess it's all about taking chances

embrace every moment

life's too short to be so assertive and so moody

Life is not a bed of roses

within the blossoming roses there exists the spiking thorns

Being positive and ignorant

Being optimistic and happy-go-lucky

these are the assets that one might need to treasure 

When the moment has come

grab it and make it chine

at least that's what I can do

while waiting for that arrival

Light in My Life

Lifted by your warm embrace

There is no reason to cry

Trapping in the endless maze

I have nowhere to hide 

Give me another reason to stay

 knowing that we might heading the same way

You make everything's right
the mess within me
You are the light in my life
save me from the dream
Light in my life

Came alive from the sleep
Breathing the new world with you
 Knowing we are still in sync
No reason to live in blue

Shining the way in the night sky
I found my way to you now
the tears in my eyes run dry
and my life is complete now
with you
My light in my life

Burn Me to the Ground

Standing here awaiting

while no one at the sight

maybe this is what I getting

after giving all I might

The pain is overflowing

The memory of the past

maybe this is what I deserving

ready for the hardest crush

I know you will never look back

at the ashes you burn with your hands

and my heart will never beat again

cause I know this may be the end

We will never be the same 

Know that it's not safe and sound

Beat me up and hurt me all you can

burn me to the ground

You will never see me again

light me up with fire all around

all the years together with the pain

burn me to the ground

With the blazing heart

comes with all my haunting sound

you will be mine

but you have burn me down  

I'm ashamed with no respect

like a king without a crown

what can I expect

after you burn me to the ground

Countdown

The countdown clock is ticking

it will eventually goes off

but beneath the dark clouds 

born and rise of the eternity light

that is the call

when you know everything will die someday somehow

Right now

standing at the peak of current stage of life

nostalgia keeps on beating the fragile piece of mind

reminding myself that the light is dimming 

we might rise like a phoenix at the next stage

or maybe heard no more 

Strange is our situation upon Earth

each of us comes for a short visit

not knowing why

yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose

From the standpoint of daily life

however

there is one thing we do know

that man is here for the sake of other man

Realising the fact that our life's too short

if you don't stand for anything

you will for for everything

life is short and we have never too much time

for gladdening the hearts of those 

who are traveling the dark journey with us

we need to be swift to love

make haste to be kind

We are not here to please everyone

Please all, and you'll please none

make everything counts

as the graduation clocks is ticking less than a year time

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry

lost knowledge may be replaced by study

lost health may be replaced by medicine

but lost time is gone forever

Pre-Final Year Syndrome

The 9-week internship has gone with the wind

and the fact that the industrial experience had enriched your life

it has become the past tense

and I'm so ready to write down the brand new chapter

looking back the past three years that I've survived

though the road is long and filled with f**king obstacles

I've grown so much

it is definitely a life-changing phase

Expectation and hope is 2 different entities

When you expect, you want that to happen so badly

if nothing turns out, you get the devastation and disappointment

but

when you hope, you can always change your wish

if nothing turns out, you get to customise your hope

As for me

I'm doing both all the time

I expect and I hope

towards the end of my university life

I want these 4 years' life to go crazy all the way 

Maybe it's about getting the qualifications to get a job

but it's also all about getting yourself ready for the real world

finally 

having a year left to prove that

probably I will be stuck doing my FYP

but it's not gonna stop right there

this bitch (pointing at myself) is gonna enjoy to the max

and 

I ain't no prove to anyone but myself

not that I'm deprived of

but it's just the way it should be

so I'm ready and I have what it takes to be on top 

The Middles

How many times that during a conversation that

you have been inspired

or somehow motivated

to carry out something

Just look upon the pain in the past

knowing that every little things that you did

can actually trigger the trauma to haunt you back

I've been in the situation where I stood still 

and of course the almighty fall moment

the ups and downs

the bittersweet

I guess I've tasted'em all

It's always surprising that how some people can just intact closely with their hopes

while some still breathing in the null air

and move on

maybe they've been inspired

or somehow motivated

perhaps the baby step is insignificant

and my ignorance nature can't help but miss the point

and maybe one day

that's where all started to make sense

our live 

there's an opening 

there's an ending

and many middles in between them

God may lay the plan

we just have to grab the chance 

and define our version of 'middles' 

ANTM Cycle 21 - Prelude

Let us just put it this way

If you are an avid fan of America's Next Top Model

or known as ANTM

you will probably excited about this date

18 August 2014

yup

the premier of ANTM Cycle 21

or the America's Next Top Model: Guys & Girls 2

ANTM Cycle 21 Promo

so what's new in this cycle 

since 2003

we all know that ANTM had changed their panel of judges

several times

but Cycle 21 guess who's back?

the Goth PR Maven Kelly Cutrone

Kelly Cutrone with scary laugh

new judge

Asian photographer Yu Tsai

and Runway Diva Extraordinary

Ms Jay

Ms Jay with his/her grand entrance as always

I'm like fangirl " OMG~~~~~"

before we head to the new cycle

Let's recap on some of the girls that are memorable (for me)

ANTM past cycle winners (Adrianne, Yoanna, Eva, Naima, Nicole L., Dani, CariDee, Jaslene, Saleisha, Whitney,
McKey, Teyona, Nicole F., Krsita, Ann, Brittani, Lisa, Sophie, Laura and Jourdan)

looking back all the girls that have won

congrats to them

though some of them actually were not deserved to win

whatever

but some of these girls are certainly memorable

in a way

ANTM Chris

first up

we have from Cycle 15

Chris 

initially entered the competition with her sister, Terra

but along the competition

this tick-tick-tick-flash girl had made it further to the Top 5

she's goofy and real

ANTM Angelea

Ms Angelea 716

She's my goddess

out of so many girls there

She's real, she's tough

she has the swag

though she did not win both Cycle 14 and Cycle 17

(that's unfair)

she's the one who will make the impact

to the industry

ANTM Dominique

This girl

Dominique

is kinda pathetic during Cycle 10

she was mistaken as someone else's mom during the photoshoot

(Ouch~)

but she set on fire when she returned in Cycle 17

yet people still remembered her CoverGirl commercial

when the girls were asked to do a commercial in Italian

she just made something up when she lost the words

something like "La Brazilia~" (wtf XD)

ANTM Sheena

She's from Harlem

and she has the attitude like a black girl

and she is breast-fake

what else~~

She's one of my favorite Asian from ANTM series

this unexpected Kimora-Lee-look-alike girl 

will definitely laid a superb impact 

so from the past cycles

there are still many girls who are definitely memorable

so the question now is

Ready for ANTM Cycle 21??

ANTM Bre

is "Hell ya!" from me XD

Twisted Routes

Just when you know exactly what you want

another opportunity turns up

you are now in dilemma

wondering and thinking

should I carry on

or take chances on this

it's funny when you surrender your whole fate to God

in return

chances or obstacles just keep on coming

you have absolutely no idea what to prepare

you just keep on charging

usually you'll bump into the rocks or quicksands

when you can learn and stand up

what if you met fairies or angels

they show you the light to another side of the route

you can back out as you never know 

what is there waiting for you 

behind the bundles of glittering lights

it might be another dead end

which eventually

you gotta start from scratch if you wanna the alternative

so what is the chances that you are given these lights in your life

the key question is

will you keep on going your glorious path?

or will you take the second choice?

both eventually ends with different outcome 

but share the common thing

the possibilities and the unexpected

I have absolutely no idea what will happen

I just gotta keep my swag

Angelea (ANTM Cycle 17)

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Crystal

Last weekend

the world had witnessed the reprisal of the great anime of all time

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Crystal

though that's my guilty pleasure

but

as an avid Sailor Moon manga reader

plus I've watched the whole 200 episodes of Sailor Moon 

up to the last arc

I guess this Sailor Moon Crystal is definitely a must-watch

of course

most of the pretty guardian fans are rejoiced as the sailor senshi are back

who can forget all these wonderful characters @.@

the careless Usagi as Sailor Moon

the smart Ami as Sailor Mercury

the serious Rei as Sailor Mars

the tomboy Makoto as Sailor Jupiter

the dreamer Minako as Sailor Venus

and this is the brand new opening of the Sailor Moon Crystal XD

Sailor Moon Crystal Opening - Moon Pride 

so happy that the girls are back

though the story line is similar to the original series

but I don't care

I'm gonna indulge in this series XD

Sailor Moon and the inner senshi ^^

Moon Prism Power~ Make up !!!

I guess I'm gonna scream that whenever the transformation takes place 

The Jam

With just a blink of my eyes

I have ended my sixth day of my internship

though the road is still long and winding

but guess what

I'm gonna rock this 2 months period

Move Like a Soldier

Kristina Maria

and no time wasted

cause I'm gonna be like a sponge

absorb these experiences

inspire my next part of my life

to be honest

the life here's ain't easy 

imagine stuck in traffic jam at least 2 hours per day

oh great, what a waste!!!

of course with the workload I have

nothing much to complain

I've learned so much in just six days

imagine what's coming along the way for next 2 months

it's damn tiring in the jam

so it's another gate to heaven when I went to Shower

Becky G

the downpour of shower

kinda retaliates the hard work of the day

feel like Top of the World

Shonen Knife

speaking of jam

I'm jamming with all the songs above

maybe sounded corny

but it ain't another Crazy Stupid Love song

My Crazy Girlfriend

just songs for me to groove with while working

and rightfully let me go through these internship days

New Pair of Order

Tomorrow marks the first day of my internship

nothing much to fear of

except the fear of getting lost somewhere

the fear of forgetting some important stuffs

the fear of something here and there

and sum up

the fear that created due to over thinking

taking a new leap of faith

into a brand new environment

hopefully my ability to adapt could keep up the puzzles of routes

and rightfully I could make my way to achieve my goals

of course putting internship

I have a pile of Final Year Project to-do-list

after having a discussion with my ultimate all-I-ever-wanted supervisor

right now gotta bulk up and strive to do the thing

it's also a brand new thing for me

too strange yet that's what I've chosen

guess this is my highest call yet so far

either to conquer the best of both worlds

or watch me stab to death by a pair of knives

thus no more complain

let the action do the talking

while the other part of me 

just sit back

relax

eating the low fat popcorn

while watch the wonder happens right in front of me

Running Out of Breath

Engulfing in the most stressful month

yet beneath my thought

I'm like 

"So far so good!"

just hoping that everything just go according to me

and that's it

I'm set

trying hard to reach out

for the higher ground

the test of limit itself is freaking insane

almost barely able to breath

I might just sink to the deepest

and never get out of it

turning the table is another option 

but let's put the thinking cap on

what the hell am I doing

over-thinking it might just deteriorate oneself

but 

ignoring it might just discourage the boldness 

Kelly Clarkson - Catch My Breath

before running out of breath

the only way is to keep on

move on

before the dawn of life

and regret for raising the white flag 

in the midst of the race

OneRepublic - Love Runs Out

 

Something bothering me...

It's a brand new month

the new year resolution should be resolved by half

yet 

the passion is still remained glowing

the path is still remained vaguely

the fear is still remained tormenting

The passion

I always wanted the best of both world

providing the comfortable life for my family

and

achieving my ultimate dream

however there always exist a thin fine line

which I called the ignorance factor

what if I were to ignore the first scenario

or

what if I were to abandon my sky-high dream 

I know it's time consuming to achieve the balance 

but that's what worth a food for thought

The path

choices 

options

opportunities

these are the elements that always pop out

sometimes you just make your move

cause you know everything is in your hand

and sometimes you have no idea what the hell just happen

everything seems fall apart once you enter a wrong path

and you start to realize you have made a wrong decision

and there comes the opportunities

they do not come often

sometimes

you might just miss them

and they never come back

so seize the light if you could

The fear

it is normal to have a fear(s) of something

but it's terrifying if you know you had chosen incorrectly

and you became further and further from your dream

I am afraid to spend the rest of my life 

living in the things that I hate

cause one day I might just bring along the regrets into the ground

and from the fear rise the courage to carry on

to be bold

and to be strong

Really Don't Care~

You can bitch about everything

but if you ever try to tear down my dignity

you know what

you are now in a very deep trouble

I know you can always have a bad day

and just when things don't go according to you

you start to enrage 

I am like "what the hell?"

maybe the whole story is not about you

and you may reach the lowest point 

however

not just you

so STFU

get a life

But even if the stars and moon collide
I never want you back into my life
You can take your words and all your lies
Oh oh oh I really don't care
Even if the stars and moon collide
I never want you back into my life
You can take your words and all your lies
Oh oh oh I really don't care
Oh oh oh I really don't care

Demi Lovato brand new single

Really Don't Care

I always admire this kind of anthem

which you just let it go

and really don't care 

cause life's too short

you just do not have time for everything

not forget to mention

there's Cher Lloyd part as well

love'em both ^^

so to the bitches out there

please get out of my life

I really need to move on

and

oh oh oh

I really don't care

The Life in My Mind

It's always been a cycle

when you are doing routine work

for example studying in university

since the very first semester

I never thought everything could be so repetitive

it is sure everyday is a brand new day

but when it falls to a certain pattern

and as soon as you realize it

you just can't wait to put a full stop somewhere

I always believe in the options that I've made

even it has lead me to the darkest trail

yet I will never regret the choices that I've decided

and I don't want to live in regret in my old age

looking back at my present time 

and regret with sadness 

about my young age

I could just live my life 

within my comfort zone

and I also could just move on

challenge the limits of my own

breathing in new things everyday

and that's what I want to accomplish

before I was sent to grave with thousands of regret

Life is never easy 

I could imagine my life in rapid pace

earning somehow rather satisfying income

or 

I could just chill back with my moderate lifestyle

wandering around the lonely city

who knows I might encounter the one

in the sea of people

silver lining is what I always hope for

I'm constantly craving for it

although it might come just once a blue moon

and knowing that life's too short to loath around

the next time it shows up

it's the time that I'll take chances